(If this is the first post you've seen here at A Softer Voice, the beginning of this journey can be read on the earlier post, "Looking Back" dated March 13, 2024. My husband, B W Sullivan died of COVD on October 18, 2021. I share our story to encourage you, rather than advise, as you struggle to survive the loss of a spouse. I pray you can see God at work in my life, one day at a time. His mercy never fails us.)
November 3, 2021 AM
"As for me, I trust in You, O Lord, I say, 'You are my God,' My times are in Your hand." Psalm 31:14-15 NASB
What a comfort to realize that I am only one breath, one heartbeat, one twinkle of an eye from seeing BW again. I feel the loneliness tonight, missing him so much.
I want to hear his voice on my voice mail, but I'm not sure I can without hurting more than I already am.
November 4, 2021
My prayers continued today. It was a hard day. Probably the most difficult one yet. "#butGod" brought me through. I know You will again, Lord. Every time.
God, You are good because You are only a breath away.
November 5, 2021
"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you, I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 CSB
I was hovering on the bottom yesterday. Partly because of the weather. I'm just one who needs sunshine, although You bring the cloudy, rainy days over Your creation as part of your design.
The unexpected visit from BW's cousins, Mandy and Barrick's time with me this evening, phone calls from Kay and Mel seem like small things, but they help bring me back from the hard places.
Mel mentioned how he loved seeing the changes BW brought into my life. He got me to do things that were absolutely not on the radar for me: water skiing, snow skiing, building a home in the country - and living there. We agreed that I was afraid of my own shadow until I married BW. Sharing some funny stories about those early days really lifted my spirits.
Thank You for the return of the sunshine this morning, not that it ever goes away. Clouds roll in and hide the really good part. Just like life.
God, You are good because You are with us, and You bring us through the wreckage.
2 comments:
I am so very sorry for your excruciating loss. I'm grateful for God's Blessed Assurance and His infinite comfort. May He bless your ministry as you help others.
Thank you so much, Tracy, for stopping by and for your kind words. God is bringing us along, day by day.
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