Looking Back March 13, 2024

Waves and Shadows will describe the complete disruption of a life that appeared to have settled into a time of our retirement years with traveling, camping and simply enjoying our home, family and friends. I could not have seen what was coming in October 2021. A disclaimer is in order because of the nature of this horrific time, not just for us personally, but globally. An attack was unleased on humanity by an enemy that had no face (at the time) and with a force that was unexpected and undefended.  

I'm simply telling our story as it unfolded without judgment of the medical community that was also caught unaware and ill prepared, yet controlled by those with the power to harm an unsuspecting world. 

I survive through prayer and staying in God's Word each day, journaling my prayers, His Word, and emotions that could otherwise engulf me. I offer no advice on how to grieve, rather share how the Lord has brought me through each day beginning with my husband's hospitalization. If it's helpful, thank Him.

I will be adding more entries I made in my many journals since the week BW (Bud to many) entered the hospital, if you care to follow this journey. My prayer is for God to use this effort as He chooses and to give Him the glory for any encouragement, especially for the saving faith that comes only through trusting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.  John 3:16.

LOOKING BACK

June 9, 2023

One of the scriptures from Praying God's Will for Your Life by Stormie Omartian was Psalm 41:1-3. When I returned to my Bible in my quiet time today, I saw that I had read Psalm 41:1-2 on October 18, 2021, in the early morning hours. I often turned to the Psalms during those middle-of-the-night, sleepless times. Looking, begging really, for a word of encouragement.

On the eleventh day of my husband lying in that hospital bed in ICU, separated from everyone he loved most, I prayed these words would be a promise of his healing and recovery. He had been in the ER several other times with complications of COPD and pneumonia, then sent home with medications and instructions to rest until he recovered. I expected this would be the case this time.

Psalm 41:1,2:

"How blessed is he who considers the helpless; the Lord will deliver him in a day of trouble. The Lord will protect him and keep him alive, and he shall be called blessed upon the earth. And do not give him over to the desire of his enemies."

BW had always considered the helpless. In his twenty years on the Oklahoma City Fire Department, he barged into burning homes and businesses, looking for victims and working to extinguish flames to save property. He was a certified NAUI Instructor/Diver on the Underwater Rescue and Recovery team. He would don scuba gear and dive into the murky Oklahoma lakes to look for drowning victims. On one occasion, he recovered murder weapons that led to the conviction of the guilty. On another occasion he knew the heartache of recovering the lifeless body of a small child. He had never told me about this, but he tried to share the experience in a Dale Carnegie class at our church. Emotions overtook him, and he could barely say through his tears, "Teach your children to swim."

One summer afternoon, he did revive a toddler that had slipped into the lake at the family's boat dock. The little boy was under water long enough that he had stopped breathing by the time BW made it from our dock to theirs. God had prepared him for "such a time as this." The revived tyke was taken by ambulance to the local hospital, and we would soon learn that he was fine. He made a full recovery.

BW's lifelong  career in roofing and construction meant helping those who could not help themselves in repairing their own homes. He donated his time and energy in mission projects in Mexico and Thailand. On any given day he could help a stranded motorist with car repairs on a gallon of gas, his day was complete. 

Whether he was fully decked out in fire department gear, diving tanks, or blue jeans and a T-shirt, he was always wearing the heart and soul of a hero. Surely, this passage of scripture was the promise, the assurance, I was desperately seeking.

BW died that evening at 9:41 PM, October 18, 2021.

I cried through those verses again tonight.

My close friend Mary LaFrance called from Washington state in the middle of those thoughts and tears. She scanned through the remaining verses of Psalm 41.

Verse 7: "All who hate me whisper together against me; Against me they devise my hurt, saying, 'A wicked thing is poured out upon him, he will not rise up again.'"

Verses 7 and 8 spoke to the pandemic, biological warfare some would say, that had brought BW to this place. As he continued to require more oxygen, the nurse told me they had taken him off of the Remdesivir after having given it to him for four days. I was never informed that he had been given that drug, and I told her as much. We had a conference call with BW, daughters Gea and Mandy, and myself. His nurse was at this bedside. When the nurse mentioned the ventilator, BW said, "Nancy doesn't want me to do that." 

My reply was, "O, Honey. I can't make that decision for you." 

He stated in definite terms, "If I need the ventilator, I want it." My husband was a fighter, and he was not ready to give in to this attack.

The nurse responded, "I have the DNR in my hand. If he agrees to the ventilator, I'll tear up the DNR and have him sign a release for the ventilator." (I had asked the nurse prior to this time if she had seen patients come off the ventilator and recover. She said she had. I had heard the opposite was true more often than not.)

But now...some choice. A DNR - Do Not Resuscitate - or a ventilator proven to have a lousy record for saving lives.

I would later learn from printed and published material that, on average, Oklahoma hospitals received $219,000 for each patient who was diagnosed with COVID, was given Remdesivir, put on a ventilator, died, and COVID was listed as the cause of death.

Based on that information, BW entered the Oklahoma Heart Hospital South on October 7, 2021 with a price on his head.

The first conversation I had with BW's pulmonologist, Dr. Nazir, who had cared for BW's COPD issues for years, was when he called to say that things were not going well for my husband. I begged the doctor to put him on Ivermectin and Hydroxychloroquine, the two medications successfully given to President Trump when he had COVID, but Nazir flatly refused. He said they didn't work. When I told him I had heard they did work, he told me I had been lied to.

My husband was on his death bed. What harm could those two medications have possibly done.

Psalm 41:9:  "Even my close friend (his doctor?) in whom I trusted who ate my food (took money for his fees?) has lifted up his heel against me."

I had tried to get BW transferred to Baptist Hospital. At least he would have been given some vitamins there, but their rooms were full, and BW's doctor would have to release him to get him transported to another facility. When I asked BW if he wanted me to pursue that option, he said, "No. They're taking good care of me here." (Verse 9: "in whom I trusted.")

Mary continued to scan through Chapter 41, then exclaimed, "Here it is. This wraps it up."

Verses 11-13:  "By this I know that You are pleased with me. Because my enemy does not shout in triumph over me. As for me, You uphold me in my integrity. And You set me in Your presence evermore. Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel from everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen."

God answers our prayers from His eternal perspective. Job 14:5 tells us our days are determined. That the number of our months is with Him. He set the limits that we cannot pass.

Gea and Mandy agreed that it was for their dad to decide about the ventilator, yet my doubts haunted me. What if I had kept him at home and looked for one of the doctors who would have prescribed the two meds that have since been used successfully for others? But he had already had one fever spike at home that we were able to bring back down. Now the percentage of his oxygen level was dropping into the 80's.

My niece Tara is a home health nurse, and she had said earlier that oxygen that low would mean taking him to the ER. When I asked BW what he wanted me to do, he said, "I guess you need to call the doctor." The nurse at Nazir's office said to get him to the hospital.

I'll always regret letting my fear and emotions overtake me. Rather than spend that 20-minute drive to the hospital in tears, I should have reassured him. When we arrived at the ER, I did manage to pull myself together enough to tell him he would be fine, assure him of our prayers and once again tell him of my love for him, that we needed him to get well and come home! 

Since we had been out of state within a certain time frame, I was not allowed to go in with him. I would wait in the parking lot for about four hours while he was tested for COVID and the diagnosis was confirmed. We talked a few times by phone, but he needed to rest more than he needed to talk. Once he was admitted to the hospital rather than come home with me, I had to drive away. Alone.

After his death, I was still grieving over the scenario and the lingering feeling of "What if...Gea simply said, "Mom, what if you had kept him at home,. and he died anyway?" She couldn't have known the power of those words in that moment. BW had said before COVID struck him that if he ever had it, it "would get him" because of his COPD, but that he knew he was on God's watch, he knew where he was going, and he was not afraid. Ken and Mandy would reassure me with the same wisdom in the face of that haunting question that refused to die.

In reality, if he had died at home, I would never have been convinced I had done everything I could possibly have done for hm.

I searched more scripture. During this nightmare the time with God and letting His word wash over me was what kept me in complete reliance on Him. It sill does.

BW was in a Catch 22, a no-win situation. Only God could have saved him. 

And He did.

He saved my husband from staying in a fallen world where evil was running rampant and destroying lives as it pulled hard on our freedom in all walks of life. If BW had survived, his health would have been even more compromised. He is now fully healed and living in the presence of Jesus, under His constant protection, living the life we all crave and watch for.

Satan did not win that merciless battle. Jesus did that on the cross.

Daniel 4:35: "All the inhabitants of the earth are reputed as nothing; He does according to His will in the army of heavens. And among the inhabitants of the earth. No one can restrain His hand or say to him, 'What have You done?'" (NKJV)

Not only can we not know God's timing for us, but anything we try to do to change our appointed time to be in Heaven will be in vain. And His word says that He is not accountable to us for His sovereignty. That's why our relationship is defined by faith for our number of days and for where we will spend eternity. His great love for BW was/is stronger than any love and desire we have for him to be here with us.

Acts 17:26: "And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their pre-appointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from us; for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own posts have said, 'For we are also His offspring.'"

Psalm 116:6 "precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."

Luke 16:22 "So it was that the beggar died and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom."

The scripture in Acts 17 tells us that not only did God pre-determine our time on earth, but also "the boundaries of our dwellings." BW regularly thanked God for placing us in America. Often, he mentioned that we could have been born into a land of no freedom and with no means of self-support. He truly was a thankful man every day, and he showed that with a heart of compassion and by using his strength to work hard until the last few weeks of his 75 years.

The Tale of Two Worlds

     The struggle is real. Two opposing forces are battling for the hearts and minds of America. Who will lead the nation as the most powerful person, not just in this country, but in the world? Who would sit among the nine justices as either interpreters of the constitution or as litigators according to whatever standards serves the purposes of their political persuasion? That choice was recently decided through another embattled process that ended in a narrow majority vote.

In the end, both sides win. But one, only for a season.

There are a growing number of Americans who seek to govern according to the standards that can look like a free-for-all of personal ideals. No rules for marriage or childbirth; no financial responsibility because everything will be “free”: Education, health care, housing. A society of live-and-let-live that certainly sounds like a utopian existence.

In this world, there will be no borders because America should have a heart and soul for anyone wishing asylum for every manner of lawlessness alongside those who genuinely seek a better life for their families and themselves. A world where only the strong survive.

In this world, no thought toward a certain field of education that will lead to a desired career is needed. The government would be more than happy to make that decision for everyone, along with the number of hours that will be worked and the amount of “wages” to be paid. “Don’t worry. Be happy. We’ve got this,” says the big brother with the long arm. And the control. Of everything.

In this world, your excessive tax dollars will not be wasted on the elderly, the infirm, those with birth defects, or even the unborn child, i.e. another mouth to be fed by the government because the parents won’t be able to feed him. Those tax dollars will be enjoyed by the powerful forces who are so much better at making decisions for the less intelligent, less motivated tax payers who will soon become even less motivated day by day. Then they will also become more dependent on the government whose laws are meant for everyone except themselves. Those same government leaders will also be the ones enjoying the fruits of each American’s labor much more than the crumbs the laborers will get to enjoy. And if you want something that someone else has worked for, just follow the government’s example and take it. Because it’s the land of “only the strong survive”.

There will be no religious guidelines to clutter the minds of the individuals. Because the general belief is everyone can be his/her own god. All-knowing and wise in their own eyes. And the law allows for the punishment of anyone who chooses to believe in a one true God. Close those pesky churches, take away their rights to a parking lot, a bakery, a beauty salon, or a gym. Starve them out. That will teach them.

For those who are becoming increasingly impatient, just hang on because your earthly Utopia is coming. And it’s coming soon. In the blink of an eye, you’ll notice that a vast number of people have vanished. Some who are mid-way through surgery, be it a heart bypass or a root canal, will be left wondering where the surgeon has disappeared to and why is no one monitoring the machines and oxygen levels. There will be a skeleton crew in these vital positions wondering the same thing. Where did the pilot of the 757 go? It’s an odd time for a coffee break that seems to never end. Isn’t it about time to land this thing?

Not to fear because a leader of all worldly leaders has been in place for such a time as this. He will have all the answers to your questions. He will provide every need. His voice will be the one in the midst of the chaos calming the world through a technology that will undoubtedly reach each and every terror-stricken heart. God calls him “the anti-christ”. For these three-and-a-half years it will be a time of unity and peace. This may be the world you presently think you want. No more churches or people trying to drag you there. No more hypocrites saying one thing and doing another. No one trying to encourage you with Bible verses and prayers spoken in your behalf. No one meddling in your personal life. But it’s probably a world you will not want to be in when it becomes a place where the Holy Spirit no longer dwells.

Then reality will set in. Once this smiling and reassuring “person” allows his true heart to shine, the terror will erase every comforted thought he personally delivered that short three-and-a-half years prior in the wake of the mass disappearance of unnumbered family and friends. “It was just the aliens, you know. Everything will be fine. Just follow my lead. I’ll take care of you. You can trust me.” The same lips that uttered that nonsense are now snarling to the point of dripping venom as his predestined reign of terror begins. It will also last three-and-a-half years.

Need food? Just take this little mark. No need to worry about losing it. It’s permanent. It’s your ticket to food, medicine, fuel. All of those things without which no one can survive. What? You mean you realized those Bible thumpers were right after all? It wasn’t the aliens, but the Savior of the world who fulfilled his promise of coming for His bride, the Christians, at a time only His Father God knew. “’No mark for you,’ you say? “No problem. We’ll just take your head.” Because, you see, this will be the price of refusing the mark of the beast the Bible warned about. To refuse the mark of the beast is to choose Heaven, but it will mean sudden death by decapitation. For those who do take this mark, they are also signing onto an eternity in a place where the fire never goes out and the worm never dies. It’s called Hell. It’s real, and it’s forever.

Choosing this world is very simple. You simply do nothing.

It takes complete faith and a repentant heart to surrender your all to the Jesus who is just who God says He is. God’s Son. One hundred percent God, one hundred percent man. His death on the cross paid for the sins of the world. A one-time event to cover every sin in every heart. He loves you that much! The amazing thing is that it’s a free gift to anyone who will call upon the name of the Lord to be saved:

 

“for if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.”  For these is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call upon Him; for “Whoever will call upon the name of the Lord will be saved.”  Romans 10:9-13

 

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”  John 3:16 KJV

 

Speaking of the world already chosen by generations through that child-like faith, it begins the moment “Jesus steps up on a cloud to call His children” which is also the beginning of the first three-and-a-half-year period mentioned above. The dead in Christ will rise first to meet Him in the air. Living, born-again Christians will follow immediately behind them to a place of eternal peace and joy. (I Thessalonians 4:16) Our heavenly home prepared by Jesus Christ Himself. In His own words, He said:

 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many dwelling places: if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.” John 14:1-3 NASB

This “place”, this other world, is a place with no sickness, no death, no murderers or thieves. A world where believers will be reunited with other loved ones who did choose to believe and to receive God’s gift of eternal life. A world that needs no sun to light the day or moon to light the night, because God’s glory is the eternal flame. A land of milk and honey, of streets paved with gold so pure that it will be translucent in appearance. The Garden of Eden God created, but this one will last for eternity. No sin will ever pollute this world.

A place with no tears:

 “And He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying or pain: the first things have passed away.” And He who sits on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write: for these words are faithful and true.” And He said to me, “It is done. I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of water of life without cost. He who overcomes shall inherit these things; and I will be his God, and he will be My son.” Revelation 21:4-7 KJV

There are some who will not be in this world:

“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” Revelation 21:9 KJV

What is your heart’s true cry? A world of temporal freedom that will lead to eternal imprisonment in a place where no one even has a name. One pastor refers to it a “wasteland of humanity”. And don’t forget about the eternal fire.

Or would you prefer to live in perfect peace and walk among giants of faith spoken of in Hebrews and loved ones who likely were praying for you with their last breath? With Jesus Himself. I can only imagine. A place where we will, indeed, have jobs and responsibilities. One of Satan’s biggest lies is that heaven is a boring place where its residents just float around on clouds eternally.

“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.” II Peter 3:9-10.

This could be your moment. Your invitation to accept God’s free gift of eternal life in Heaven with Him. You can do this right now, right where you are. The following is from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: 

RT YOUR NEW LIFE WITH CHRIST

You can have real, lasting peace today through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Start your four-step journey now!

Step 1 – God loves you and has a plan for you!

The Bible says, “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, [Jesus Christ], that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly”—a complete life full of purpose (John 10:10).

But here’s the problem:

Step 2 – Man is sinful and separated from God.

We have all done, thought or said bad things, which the Bible calls “sin.” The Bible says, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

The result of sin is death, spiritual separation from God (Romans 6:23).

The good news?

Step 3 – God sent His Son to die for your sins!

Jesus died in our place so we could have a relationship with God and be with Him forever.

“God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

But it didn’t end with His death on the cross. He rose again and still lives!

“Christ died for our sins. … He was buried. … He was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:3-4).

Jesus is the only way to God. Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me” (John 14:6).

Step 4 – Would you like to receive God’s forgiveness?

We can’t earn salvation; we are saved by God’s grace when we have faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. All you have to do is believe you are a sinner, that Christ died for your sins, and ask His forgiveness. Then turn from your sins—that’s called repentance. Jesus Christ knows you and loves you. What matters to Him is the attitude of your heart, your honesty. We suggest praying the following prayer to accept Christ as your Savior:

 

“Dear God,

I know I’m a sinner, and I ask for your forgiveness.
I believe Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe that He died
for my sin and that you raised Him to life.
I want to trust Him as my Savior and follow Him as Lord,
from this day forward. Guide my life and help me to do your will.

I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

https://lp.billygraham.org/find-peace-with-god/

 

Time is running out for those who need to decide. Jesus could come for His children today. Which world will you choose?

© Nancy K. Sullivan

     October 29, 2020

 

 

 

 

Dead Sea Rising Review

       Dead Sea Rising is an invitation to experience two worlds: The first, the Bermans', a modern-day Messianic Jewish family. The second, Terah's family in biblical Mesopotamia.

        Jerry Jenkins has his feet firmly planted in both worlds, and he intertwines the two with intrigue and danger that will make you willing, eager even, to travel with him through Dead Sea Rising.  If you enjoy serials, hang on. This one is going to be big!

       Hurry now to Barnes & Nobel or Amazon to get your copy before they're gone!

Launch Team Update on Dead Sea Rising by Jerry Jenkins

Reposting to bump this reminder to the top for anyone near Brentwood, TN this evening at 7PM.

Moving right along in the launch event for Dead Sea Rising. If you're in the Brentwood, TN area on November 9, 2018 this announcement is just for you:

• clock

  Friday, November 9, 2018 at 7 PM – 8 PM

• pin	Barnes & Noble Cool Springs 1701 Mallory Lane, Brentwood, Tennessee 37027

Change

It was time to say “Goodbye.” The dream of building our own home in the country and sharing that experience with our two daughters had been realized. Our little girls had made the transition from life in the city to country living and survived the culture shock of trading next door neighbors for a patch of land far removed from everything familiar – far removed from just about everything, actually. 

They were now young women and had left their rural nest in pursuit of their own dreams. It was time for my husband and myself to vacate that same nest and return to the city to begin a new chapter in our own lives.

What an adventure that 20 years had been. We would officially move into our almost-finished rock and rough cedar ranch house in 1980 during the hottest summer on record in our state. Anything that stayed in place for more than 20 seconds either dried up or was devoured by grasshoppers numbered by Biblical standards. By mid-July we were walking on crispy grass that would remain brown until the following spring.

After the initial excitement of building and moving into our new home had worn off, I was left with the reality that I was literally living in the middle of nowhere with all manner of creepy crawlies that were certainly much smaller and less lethal than the ones that existed in my imagination. A reality that meant many hours of alone time and facing many small emergencies that inevitably came when my knight/cowboy could not be there to resolve them.

My husband would travel the 60 miles to the city to work, adding a two-hour round-trip commute to an already long work day. This city girl would survive by staying active in our new church and investing in the girls’ world of basketball and cheer leading in their rural school and even more church activities.

We would experience sudden downpours of rain that would wash out the low-water crossing on the only trail from the county road to our front door. The expression, “Lord willin’ and the creeks don’t rise” was a statement of fact for us on more than one occasion. One of the heaviest snow and ice storms on record would mean four days of intermittent power outages and lots of family togetherness until the snow stopped long enough for my husband to clear a path with our tractor. I was actually a little disappointed when the school buses were able to reclaim miles and miles of dirt and gravel roads and my husband would reclaim his lane on the highway to his two jobs.

I miss the simpler pleasures of that time: A roaring fire in the over-sized fireplace and the wonderful smell that only charred firewood can offer. Along that same vein, I miss the beginning of fall and spending long afternoons raking leaves and twigs from around the pond into huge piles that would also fill the air with aromatic cinders and smoke. Our front door faced the west, and the sunsets seemed to be an inscribed love letter from God to our small family. Rainbows would come and go as they hovered just above the tree line that encircled our remote piece of the rock.

Most importantly, that time in the country was marked by a dependency on God that would not have happened at any other time or under any other circumstance I’ve experienced. The isolation within the walls of that remote haven meant my spending many more hours with Him than a busier lifestyle could have accommodated. Our stay there meant my faith became more of a commitment than a convenience.

When the time came for the new owners to begin living their dream on our farm, my final walk over the cleared front half of the 80 acres was as serene as any place on earth. A new-fallen snow blanketed the thirty-five acres of pasture surrounding our home and glistened peacefully among tree branches heavy with the moist powder. I was careful to photograph and video ahead of each step to keep from spoiling the untouched serenity. It was a still and quiet “Goodbye” that I never wanted to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NASB) says, “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.” Whatever our future may bring, living in rural America was that defining season that will forever remain deeply etched into my heart and mind. 

Mother's Turn

My mother would have loved having a blog. Goldie Opal Anderson McCall taught the Bible most of her adult life. She was our go-to concordance, our expositor of scriptures that can raise more questions for which human understanding is often no match. We have a few things she wrote, but said little about. Today I'm honored to share one of them, noted with her initials and 1994, the year on April 18 my dad said his good-byes to us and "Hello" to so many loved ones in Heaven. Mother joined him on April 19, 2013.

OUR VALLEYS

Just as each life needs the mountain tops for sun,

The plains and shores for work and fun,

We also need a place along life's way

To be quiet --- to rest --- and hear God say,

"Be still and know that I am God."

Psalm 46:10

His plan for our lives may include a valley along the way,

As we strive to serve Him day by day.

So do not worry --- fret or fear,

He is faithful and will always be near

To "supply all your needs."

Philippians 4:19

No valley is too deep --- too long --- or too wide

To keep Jesus from walking by our side.

His word is full of His promises --- to you and to me ---

No matter where He sends us --- there He is sure to be.

"I will never leave thee or forsake thee."

Hebrews 13:5

GM

1994

We love you, Mom. Your teaching is still golden, and what a treasure to find something you typed and tucked away with so many of your words of wisdom. Enjoy Heaven with Dad. We'll see you soon.

A Prayer for Our Nation

"Almighty GOD; we make our earnest prayer that Thou wilt keep the United States in Thy holy protection, that thou wilt incline the hearts of the citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to government; and entertain a brotherly affection and love for one another and for their fellow citizens of the United States of America at large. And finally that Thou wilt most graciously be pleased to dispose us all to do justice, to love mercy and to demean ourselves with that charity, humility and pacific temper of mind which were the characteristics of The Divine Author of our blessed religion, and without whose example in these things we can never hope to be a happy nation. Grant our supplication, we beseech thee, through Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen"


George Washington

Psalm 51:10-12

"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit."

Psalm 51:10-12

Come

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” 

(Matthew 11:28, NISB)

  “Come...” 

“Move from where you are"

  “…to Me.”

“Jesus. I’m all you need. I can help.”

  “all”
               “Anyone. Everyone.”

“who are weary”

               “I want to be your strength.”

 “and heavy laden”

               “I carried the cross and then bore it – just for you. I can carry you, too.”

 “and I will give you rest.”

               “Rest for your mind, body and spirit.”

The Music Lesson

          Two of the sources of joy in my life rest in our two beautiful daughters and the young women they've become. The younger of the two, Mandy Kniskern, and I often finish each other's sentences, reach for the phone to call each other at the same time - you know how it is with mothers and daughters.
          I was thinking through my post for this month, but just had not stopped to see if my thoughts would lead to anything helpful. No worries. I checked in to see what my facebook buddies were up to today, and there she was: Mandy. Not only finishing my thoughts, but doing it so eloquently it would be a shame for me to attempt a rewrite for "our" point of view. With her permission, I'm giving my corner over to her today. I hope it blesses you as much as it did me.

      "I love to sing harmony. It often makes me smile to think of how Ken’s and my singing styles speak so much to our personalities. Ken has an undeniably strong, effortless, leading solo voice. I love to blend. I love singing with and against other parts. As we were singing Sunday morning, I was harmonizing on a dissonant note, pressing in, loving the dissonance, anticipating the resolution… and it started me thinking...
      We experience that same dissonance in life...
      That tension that begs for resolution.  Whatever the situation is that’s unresolved, I can press in and learn what there is to learn, grow how I can grow while I wait for resolution. And sometimes it doesn’t come in that particular song or situation. 
          Just as some songs you hear trail off without resolving like you just know they will, such is life.  Not everything gets wrapped up and tied with a nice big bow. The closure that you’re waiting for in your situation doesn’t always come. But there will be a new song, and another new song after that. Just as our lives are a series of chapters, so are they an eclectic blend of music. Some songs will build and swell and give us that big dramatic finish that ends on tonic, the way that feels right, and some songs will deliver more complex chord structures, more dissonance less resolution.
           Who can understand why God allows the discord in our lives… We live in an imperfect world with spiritual battles being fought all around us, and I believe that there are simply times when evil prevails. But God can always work good out of what the enemy intends for our harm.
           If you’re in a particularly dissonant season, press in. Maybe resolution will come, maybe it won’t. But in time, a new song will begin."

Out of Sight...Out of Mind

I always look forward to spring. Bedding plants, raking last year’s dead leaves from the flower beds, and cool mornings sitting on the porch are a welcome respite after the snow and ice of winter finally melt away. Then summer arrives. I abandon the fresh air and sunshine for the comfort of air conditioning and settle back in until the thermometer drops below 85 degrees again.

          My husband is an outdoor guy. Year around. He works in the extremes of each season, and he’s at home there. This past week, he has encouraged me to be outside with him more, watering trees and flowers, helping with the mowing and pulling the persistent twigs of grass from dirt that reluctantly surrenders the tiny roots.

          Once outdoors, I enjoy the physical labor of gardening, even on such a small scale. And I love seeing the buds and flowers on the rose and lilac bushes gracing a small fenced-in area on the east side of the house. We have no windows on that side of our home; consequently, as the temperatures rise, my memories of the wonders of spring fade. The small round table and chairs of scrolled metal rich in patina and not so rich in comfort sit idle and empty.

          That gentle nudge from my husband takes me back to tend the otherwise helpless blooms and blades. A surprise of new roses and promising buds await me there. The giant yellow day lilies are majestic and begging to be noticed. The two lilac bushes will explode with lavender petals any day now.

This scene reminds me that beauty is always present in our lives. In the face of intensifying headlines that spell trouble and so many loved ones and acquaintances who are in need of prayer for healing and support can sometimes blot out the beauty that God still supplies. And it reminds me of the gentle nudge of our Heavenly Father drawing me back to His beauty

"When You said, 'Seek My face,' my heart said to You,'Your face, O Lord, I shall seek'"Psalm 27:8 NASB

          There is beauty in the quiet times of prayer and reading God’s Word. There is beauty in the sound of laughter and conversation with family and friends. There is beauty in fresh air and creation with the scents and shades of life growing just beyond a porch or fence. There is beauty in each cloud, whether they are floating lazily across a blue, still sky or embroiled with storms and threats of severe weather. Sunrises. Sunsets. All a reminder that we have a loving God Who is still in control and Who has a plan that is unfolding before our very eyes.

"O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory." Psalm 63:1,2 NASB

No Regrets

Each day begins anew
And I receive a measure
Of breath to share a moment
That could someday be a treasure.

Shall I but take for granted
My years upon this earth
Not listening to the rhythm
Of my breathing set at birth.

Breath spent cannot return
No matter how I pray
That I can have another chance
To relive a wasted day.

Shall I run breathless through my maze
Letting time pass quickly by
Or choose to direct my path
And catch the memories before they fly.

Each time I breathe a prayer
For His hand to lead me on
I must listen and obey
Before a chance to serve is gone.

The gifts He breathed in me
To be used to glorify
Will wither and fade away
Unless I lift His banner high.

Every breath I have is numbered
And I cannot know when
My voice will become silent
And my life will see its end.

His Spirit gives my soul
The breath to sing and dance
Let not my last words be,
“Please give me one more chance.”

Let me work through each new day
To see each battle won
‘Til the Spirit breathes the words
That say, “My child, a job well done.”

Nancy K. Sullivan
8-22-2010

Holy Bat Man

     You meet the nicest people in a hospital. One of our favorite team members on the hospital staff was the kind man who took care of the lab procedures to track my husband's progress in overcoming pneumonia about three years ago.

     Mr. Moore's (not his real name) warm smile and caring demeanor surely make him a welcome visitor to each patient's room despite the needles and vials that accompany him. And he listens to his patients. 

     After we explained that blood had been drawn and set aside in the ER in case more lab work was needed, he took extra time to track it down and avoided yet another needle stick in my husband's now-perforated arm. He then shared an experience that taught him the importance of really listening to and respecting what his patients say to him:

     A few years earlier in a different hospital Mr. Moore entered the room of an elderly lady who was very ill with cancer. Her extended stay had resulted in a friendship between the two. She was crying. When he asked her why, she told him she was in terrible pain. 

     "Why don't you ask for some pain medication?" 

     "I can't. They think I'm hallucinating."

     "Why do they think you're hallucinating, Mrs. James?" (Again, a fictitious name.)

     "Because I told them there is a bat in my room."

     "There's a bat in your room!"

     Mrs. James nodded in the affirmative.

     Mr. Moore's kind spirit led him to the next question:
    "Can you tell me where this um … bat … is?"

     "Yes. It's behind that chair in the corner."

     Mrs. James' confidant dutifully walked to the designated corner and slowly pulled the chair from its resting place. There it was. A bat. About two inches long, his wings clinging to the wall.

     This particular hospital was an older facility located near a wildlife habitat. The roll-out windows of the hospital could be opened only slightly, but wide enough for the winged rodent to slip inside.

     Mr. Moore immediately contacted security and had the bat removed from her room. He then took the necessary steps to secure the much-needed pain medication for his grateful patient/friend, Mrs. James. How much more suffering would she have had to endure had it not been for the listening heart of a busy professional? I will always remember Mr. Moore’s engaging smile and the way he rescued Mrs. James from the bat no one else bothered to locate.

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard

one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out

for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

(Philippians 2:3-4, NASB)

Why OKLAHOMA?

May 3, 1999 Near Anadarko, OK

          On May 3, 1999, a spring day turned into a nightmare as an EF5 tornado ripped through the lives of Oklahomans. It showed no mercy. Forty-four lives and more than 300 homes could not escape fury’s path. Surely, it was the tornado that would never be equaled – at least that’s what we thought.
          We were proven wrong on May 20, 2013, as another EF5 plowed much of the same area and left splintered lives dazed in unbelief. Twenty-four Oklahomans, including nine elementary students became our latest heartache. The speed at which the skies boiled into one deadly cloud left little time for even the most savvy weather watchers to find cover. Sixteen minutes was their allotted time to read Mother Nature’s mind and get out of her way.




May 20, 2013 Moore OK by Wikipedia

          And, as disaster relief workers from around the state and the nation were settling in for weeks of recovery efforts, May 31 became another page in our history books.
          An EF5 tornado that measured 2.6 miles wide and carried winds of 295 mph became the largest tornado ever recorded worldwide. More lives were lost. An infant and her mother, three experienced storm chasers whose study of the storms have saved countless lives, and a family of seven were among the victims. The trail of destruction differed only in the names of the highways, streets and structures affected and the flooding brought on by record-breaking rainfall. Rain that hid the beast from its victims until it was too late. The rest of the sad scenes filling media reports were much the same.


Photograph by Mike Bettes     El Reno, OK  5/31/2013

          Why Oklahoma? We’re a small state in the heartland that, absent tragedy, rarely grabs a headline from national and world-wide news.
          According to our local weathermen, the tornado that struck the area east of Oklahoma on April 19, 2013, could easily have been pegged an EF5 had it not been in a rural area. It wiped out a mobile home park, many additional homes and took two lives. On April 19, 1995, it was hatred that used our state as a personal and political site and literally put us on the map.
          Dr. Ronnie Hill is an evangelist from Ft. Worth, TX. On May 26, 2013, he was the guest speaker in our church. First Southern Baptist Church was a command post after the May 3, 1999 tornado. Dr. Hill's powerful message followed the path of the tornadoes, but with healing rather than destruction.
          When he shared Job’s story, I followed along and was surprised that I had never noticed how Job’s children died. One of several messengers bringing bad news to Job that day reported the most heartbreaking:

“…'Your sons and your daughters were eating and

drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house and behold,

a great wind came from across the wilderness

and struck the four corners of the house, and it

fell on the young people and they died, and

I alone have escaped to tell you.’”

(Job 1:18,19,NASB)

          Why Oklahoma? Why not? The tragedies that are becoming part of our history seem out of proportion to the size of our small state, but we’re certainly not the only ones in America who are hurting in the face of natural and man-made grief.
          We are learning to “bear one another’s burdens” as we mobilize our man power and resources and rush to the aid of our neighboring citizens, and as they do the same for us. Fellow Americans are never too far away and the need never too great to cause one second of hesitation in reaching across the miles.
          Pastor Dave Evans of Highland Baptist Church in Moore watched on May 20 as the monster tornado took dead aim for the church. As he drove about a mile east to flee the path, he prayed for God’s will. Willing to accept either the church’s demise or the responsibility of ministering to the community, he watched God work.
          The tornado lifted away from the chosen campus, then resumed its path. Later one of the members would point out the date inscribed on the plaque commemorating the day of dedication of the church. It was May 20, 1984.
          On the heels of the May 20 tornado, Operation Blessing was literally driving through Moore asking God for His direction. All heads were bowed (except the driver, of course.) When they looked up, they saw their answer. The sign that read “Highland Baptist Church” told them they had reached their destination.
          Our son-in-law, Ken Kniskern, joined the staff at Highland as a bi-vocational worship leader a few months prior to the outbreak of violent storms. He chases and photographs tornadoes and was literally on the heels of the storm. He and the pastor arrived at the church very quickly. They would be there for the next several days and nights working with other volunteers, doing what they could to see to the immediate needs of Moore, OK residents. Ken’s full-time position at the University of Oklahoma graciously gave him over to the church for those days because that’s where he was needed most.
          At this writing (one week to the day) the church is still operating with generators. Classrooms now house truck loads of kindness from around the nation. The sanctuary has been transformed into a dining room for upwards to 1,000 volunteers who have come and gone and for those who arrive daily. (That number would grow to more than 5,000 with more volunteers showing up daily.) One young man, Hugo, traveled with a group from Texas and when they had to return to their homes last week, Hugo stayed. Oklahoma welcomes her newest resident.
          On May 25, the morning service gave way to living the scripture as teams were dispatched into adjoining neighborhoods to deliver food and essentials and to continue the monumental task of cleaning away the ruins.

Photo by MacKenzie Cage 5/23/2013

          That evening, the worship center was staged outdoors for a community service. The church sits on a beautiful hill overlooking the pain, yet the hope, that resides in her view. One of the members looked up during the service and saw a cloud formation of a cross. Many pictures of rainbows appearing over us that week have been shared through social media. Highland Baptist Church is but one of so many churches and organizations doing exactly the same things for Oklahomans. Churches out of the area partner with the ones that have the best accessibility to the wounded and homeless.
          Our daughter, Mandy, walked through Highland’s parking lot and counted 15 different out-of-state license tags. Food, water, and clothing – all essentials are being brought in by cars, trucks and semis from around the country. The generous cash donations enable families to address their particular immediate needs.

***********

          WHY, Oklahoma? Why do we stay in a land known as “Tornado Alley”? We know the storms are coming, yet we never know exactly where their razor-sharp tailwinds will strike. There are certainly more beautiful and serene places to live. But Oklahoma roots run deep.
          We appreciate the quality of life and the quieter pace. For many, those roots are deeply grounded in our faith and in knowing that God is sovereign and that His time is measured in eternity, not in our limited perspective of the temporal.
          As horrible as the scenes we relive with every news cast are from this side, we know that the innocent children are in a place of unimaginable beauty and forever protected from another moment of pain or sadness. They didn’t leave this world alone. They were accompanied by the Jesus who loves them to that special place He had prepared for them before the first hail stone fell from the sky or the circular winds began to blow.
          We have the opportunity to show others, not the Oklahoma Standard, but God’s Standard. We are just the messengers of His love and provision as we reach out to others and as we accept their incredible love and support when the need is ours. We show that our hope is not misplaced as lives are healed and homes are rebuilt.
          It is our prayer that, through it all, hearts will be changed and that many will come to know the Jesus we serve and the One who loves them enough to die for them through His sacrifice for our sin. Then their perspective will be forever changed from the temporal to the eternal.
          May we be found as faithful as Job and as willing to accept that which we cannot comprehend or attempt to explain:

“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

(Job 1:20b, NASB)

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you,

which comes upon you for your testing,

as though some strange thing were happening to you;

but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ,

keep on rejoicing, so that also on the revelation of His glory

you may rejoice with exultation.”

(I Peter 4:12-13, NASB)

© 2013