Ms. Know It All

I just dropped in for a cup of tea

And maybe a word or two

It came from Mrs. Soandso;

I know it must be true.

The rumor mill is running hot,

Spewing forth pure gold

With stories full of shocking news. 

The likes have not been told.

It all began when just last night –

Well that part doesn’t matter

I hear Ms. Newintown arrived

And eyes were lookin’ at her

Can’t say for sure, but some folks think

Mr. Deacon is the one

That couldn’t keep his eyes off her.  

He even called her “hon”.

Then there’s that kid that just got caught. 

You know which one I mean?

He’s tall and blond or short and blond,

Or somewhere in between.

Well, anyway, you know those kids;

They lie and steal, then run

I even heard that one of them

Is Pastor Someone’s son! 

The last I heard, Brother Cantdoright

Is in trouble once again.

Seems he fell into an empty pew,

Passed out from too much gin.

The goings on around this place

are enough to make one drink

Guess that’s why Sister SmilesALLthetime

Hides her stash ‘neath the sink.

Now, don’t you go and tell the folks

That you heard this from me.

Why, I just somehow, always seem

Unfortunate to be

Within the earshot of such things

That do go on and on

Lord knows, I hate this job

Of guidin’ everyone along.

But truth is truth, and Good Lord knows,

These things have got to stop

Before the devil has his way

And harvests his sinful crop.

No need to send me flowers

Or give me undue thanks.

Just please be sure to contact ME

Once YOU’ve filled in the blanks.

Nancy K. Sullivan

(c) 11-1-2010